The dual allure and repulsion of fur freely flowing from one’s back, the celebrated return of an elusive rib sandwich, and the troubling problem of presenting me — someone who already listened to "Defying Gravity" five times this morning — as a worthy writer for your next project...

Here goes nothing.  Welcome to my site.

If you hate my work, lemme know.  I owe you the story of the worst thing that I've ever done.  It's a good one. 

LOOK

WHAT

I CAN

DO!

I dream of becoming Ben & Jerry's new flavor labeler. It hasn't happened yet, but so far I've gotten to write for these brands: